Sabbaticals with Shallow Sinks

As I was washing dishes recently in the small sink we are currently using, I thought about how similar the scene in our kitchen has been this winter to one 8 winters ago.

In both seasons we found ourselves living in houses not our own, using other people's utensils and furniture.  In both seasons we were strangers in a new land -- in a very cold and snowy land -- and the tap water was essentially undrinkable.

Eight years ago Pete had applied for a "sabbatical" at work so he could accept a Fulbright grant and teach in Moldova.  Those six months were definitely an exciting and adventurous time, but for Pete I would not say it was necessarily a "sabbatical" in the sense that it should have been restful.  He was still working and was actively providing for us and trying to figure out how to manage a household in a foreign language.

But for me, it felt like a sabbatical.  Yes, there was still plenty of work to be done -- the kids still had to be educated and socialized and fed and all -- and there were parts of living abroad that were altogether stressful, but there was also plenty of rest involved for me.

It was a rest from some of the regular social obligations.  It was a rest from maintaining our normal relationships.  It was a rest from the norm, in general.  There was more menial work (such as beating rugs to clean them, and hanging clothes out on a clothesline), but the change in routine was enough to provide refreshment.

There are some people in this world who can establish a routine in their lives, and then they're content to keep that daily routine for the rest of their lives. (*cough* my husband)  But I cannot do that.  Even if I love my daily routine, I still need to know there is a break in sight, a change in the pattern.  I'm a seasonal person -- I need the ups and downs, the feasts and fasts, to keep life interesting.

So our time in Moldova for me was a time of refreshment -- despite the fact that we had no dishwasher to use, the kitchen sink was super small and shallow, and we went without countless daily comforts.

I enjoyed being new, not being known, getting to flex different relational muscles.  We liked getting to know new people who were quite different from us. I felt less pressure to perform when I was in a society full of people who had no clue who we were, and really didn't care.

***

Last year at about this time I started to get antsy.  I loved our ordinary life with our regular routines, the kids were all in good stages and good situations, but I still found myself wanting a change.  Maybe my body and/or mind knew it had been 7 years since our last sabbatical, and the rhythm dictated that it was time for another.

I started researching options for Pete to work overseas again, hoping we could all pause our regular lives and take a break somewhere else.  Nothing panned out, though, to my disappointment.

Then this new job in Grove City began to become a possibility, then a probability.  I railed against it, repeating that I didn't want to leave our life in NC, I had just wanted a temporary pause before we resumed it.  But it seemed the Lord, and Pete, had other plans, and this past fall became a time of packing again.  Unlike the fall 8 years ago where we knew we were coming back soon, this time it felt a little more permanent.

By the time Christmas rolled around most of our possessions were sealed up in boxes, and just like 8 years ago, we were living out of suitcases and crates.

Once again the Lord provided a good temporary home to live in... but once again it meant living more "bare-bones" than we were used to.  And once again I came face-to-face with just how spoiled I have been in my regular life.

Not being able to use a measuring cups, cookie sheets or a microwave has been enough to make me complain, I'm embarrassed to say.

Living with fewer things has been good in both seasons, though.  This time our borrowed kitchen only has 4 knives and 4 spoons.  So we have to plan strategically, wash them much more often, or, most commonly, learn how to use forks for things like applying butter to toast, or eating yogurt.

This time around we have a dishwasher, but it doesn't really work.  The soap thing is broken, and the water here is so full of minerals that everything is left with white and gray streaks on it.

This time around our kitchen is small again, with not many places to store food, so we find ourselves usually just buying what we need and not stocking ahead.  Our frequent trips to to the store to buy food reminds us of our daily trips to the market in Moldova, and there is a peculiar sense of rest even in that.

This time around the water is not full of dangerous bacteria, but it tastes really terrible.  When something so elemental as water is not just readily available to be enjoyed, you notice it frequently.

But we have more time to think about food and water than we normally have in other seasons because our social commitments are fewer.  Just as we were in Moldova, we are largely unknown here, and we have not yet joined all of the groups, sports, and activities that our normal lives are full of.  It has been a good family time; many evenings after dinner we can all just go to the Y together or sit and play a game.

Attending to more of the "basics" of life, and less of the encumbering ensuing entanglements that regular life brings, has been refreshing to the soul.

***

While we have been so grateful for the housing situations that we have been given in both of these sabbatical seasons, it has still been weird to live with other people's stuff.  In some ways it much more relaxing... if something is not ideal, it doesn't really matter because it's not ours.  But, there is also a little extra tension, hoping that no one will break anything that does not belong to us.

The most life-changing aspect in both of these sabbaticals for me has been the reminder that "it's all temporary."  In both seasons I knew there would be an ending date;  soon we would return to a normal rhythm in our own home.  This gave hope when things were frustrating ("I can't wait until we have a normal-sized sink again!") and it also provided a freedom to let go.  It wasn't worth getting too worked about anything, because it would soon be over.

It will soon be over.  This refrain I say to myself often has helped me re-set in many areas of life.  It reminds me to not get too upset about anything, to not rely on things too much, to get by on less.  I should know this all the time, because everything in this world and life is temporary, but I tend to forget and cling to people, things, and ideas way too much.

For a short while after the sabbatical ends, if it is like last time, I expect I will be more appreciative of my creature comforts and the opportunity to do things like cook and clean in my own kitchen.  I will be more aware of strangers among us and what it is like to be the "foreigners."  I will be more relaxed about things that transpire in my life, because I will still have the sense that it is all just temporary.

This "re-set" will help to re-shape me.

But the lessons will eventually fade; my memory is short.  So I'm thankful for the rhythms of life God provides, and will look forward to my next season and the lessons God teaches me in it.  Even if it involves shallow sinks again.

Local band

Last night we went out with Brian and Jodi to hear "Treebeard Brown," a band formed by the local high school teachers.  They were good!  The place was rocking, people were dancing -- who knew high school teachers could be so cool!

The band is named after Brian and Jodi's son.... Here's their story:  https://vimeo.com/306688120

New restaurant ideas

Colsen continues to think up new ideas for restaurants he wants to open all the time.  Sometimes it's a crepe place, sometimes it's a hot chocolate bar, sometimes they're cafes, sometimes breakfast places.  The one he talks about the most these days is a burger joint that will feature a burger from each state.

Miles joins in on the fun sometimes, too.  Just now he told me he's going to open a Japanese restaurant.  He will be the chef, then he will have a sous chef, a sushi chef, and a sous sushi chef named Sue.

Jinna, too, seems to have caught the cooking bug.  She made me an egg mcmuffin yesterday almost entirely by herself, and couldn't wait to serve it to me, complete with carrots and a banana.

I may not have to cook here much more.... I'm not complaining!

Girls

I had to document this moment.

Jinna had been looking for an overdue library book for quite awhile, and she finally found it. As she came down the stairs to tell us she was shrieking with glee -- until her excitement overcame her and she started to actually cry with joy.

The boys could not believe this phenomenon and had to come over to look right at her face -- "She's crying about finding a library book??"

It was fun watching their minds get blown by the depths of the female emotions.  I predict this is just the first of many such moments in their lives.

Chapel services

One of my favorite things, so far, about living so close to campus is the ability to go up for their weekly chapel services.  Every Tuesday and Thursday mornings they have various speakers come to share with the students about fascinating (I think) topics.  This semester the seniors have their own chapels in a different building, so we actually have 2 options to choose from each time.

I love getting there early because student bands lead worship for those who want to participate.  What a great way to start a weekday!

Colsen usually has his P.E. class at the same time, so we drop him off and then Miles and Jinna and I go over for chapel.  I'm thankful they get to hear and see all of this.

New Restaurant with Jinna

When it was Jinna Rai's turn to pick a restaurant for our one-on-one time, it was a no-brainer.  She could not wait to go to Jin Sushi!

The best part was that she discovered the napkins had a rose on them.... So both her first name and her middle name were on display.

We had a great meal of california rolls and teriyaki chicken, and she loved pointing out all the Asian items on the walls around us.  It was a sweet date!

Two Peas

Tonight Jinna and I had our first mother-daughter shopping trip ever (if you don't count Target) and we went to the Outlet Mall to spend her Christmas money.

She was so cute the whole time, wanting to hold hands and tell me how happy she was to be with me, just the 2 of us.  She had all kinds of sweet things to say about how we're going to be together forever, but my favorite was when she said, "We're 2 peas...." and then apparently forgetting the rest of the phrase, finished it with, ".... together?"  I chuckled a little, so tried again.  "We're 2 peas in a basket??"

"Two peas in a pod," I told her.

"YES," she said, "Two peas in a pot."

So then we had a nice little gardening lesson about peas.  :)

Nights at the Y

The last couple of months have been nice since we've had fewer commitments, so we've been able to do more at the Y.  The girls and I have been attending Zumba classes twice a week - and sometimes the teacher lets the girls help to lead the class for a song or 2.

 Jinna has also been taking swim lessons on Thursday afternoons, so the rest of us tag along to workout upstairs.

Meanwhile, the boys have been involved with an indoor soccer clinic and league.  They've appreciated the opportunity to get to know the college men's soccer coach and some of his players as they've taught the clinic.  When they play games, Milo and Cole are often on the same team, which they love, and they get to do their little "plays" with each other, scoring goal after goal.

It's been a sweet season!

Goal by Cole; assist by Milo

Why doesn't everyone live in a small town??

 We've lived in our new home for just over a month now and several times a day I marvel at the convenience, security, and dare I say joy at living in a small town.  I know this wonder and appreciation all may wear off someday, so I'm going to write this quick.  Because at this point in life, I can't understand why we didn't make a move to a small town much earlier.  Well, yes, I can.... there's such a thing as living where you have a job, and living near family and friends..... But from an objective anthropological, sociological, geopolitical, and logistical standpoint, life in a small town just seems to make sense.

First of all, you get to see your friends everywhere.  For example, I ran into my new friend Maria at Walmart on Saturday.  Then we got to sit and have lunch together at our Classical Conversations group on Wednesday.  Then she happened to be at my new women's Bible study that night.  Then I found myself sitting next to her at a large parents' meeting the next day. I told her I promised I wasn't stalking her.

Really, though, we rarely go anywhere without seeing someone we know unexpectedly -- and we've only lived here for 6 weeks.  In fact, the very first time Pete went to the grocery store, on the very day we arrived, he saw someone he knew.

In a small town everyone will hold at least 2 positions in your life, which means you run into them more often.  Your home contractor will also be the worship leader at church.  Your realtor will also be your former professor's son.  You'll see your doctor at church and your teacher at the Y.  It's just one big pile of spaghetti here and everyone is connected if you pull on the noodles long enough.

Secondly, it's all just so dang convenient.  If you're running errands in town, you can't drive longer than 5 minutes -- or you'll no longer be in town.  "Traffic" is not a force here.  You don't have to avoid being on the roads between the hours of 7 and 10 am and 3 and 7 pm, as I've had to in other places I've lived.

Picking up the kids from school takes less than 7 minutes -- there and back.  No long carpool lines, no commute time to speak of.

If you live right in town, you can walk to work.  The first week we were here Pete actually ran/walked more miles than he drove in the car for all of his activities. You can also walk to the library, bank, farmer's market, post office, hair appointments, coffee shops, restaurants, etc.

And your kids can walk to all of those places on their own -- and even their own orthodontist appointments!  FREEDOM!

Thirdly, people know each other in a small town, so there is a built-in level of trust.  There is a feeling of security and safety. The kids can meet their friends for a movie or at the Y or at the park or at the coffee shop -- and no one needs to give them a ride.  Also, no one will think it's weird that an unattended minor is walking around town because everyone is doing it!

I suppose if a town gets too big, that feeling of security fades as people don't know each other as well, so maybe you only would want to live in a small-ish town.

On the other hand, if the town is too small, there won't be things like coffee shops and farmer's markets to walk to, so you wouldn't want to live there....

So, maybe I should modify my question to say, "Why doesn't everyone live in a small town of about 10,000 people?"

Small towns are good at coming up with things to do like festivals and things, but even so, some could make an argument that they could be rather dull places..... unless your small town happens to have a college campus within it.  If you have a college campus nearby, suddenly there are all kinds of fun amenities and activities to experience!  There are cultural events and concerts, art shows, lectures, shows, sporting events, and even a homecoming parade that will go right through your town. There's a bowling alley, indoor track, outdoor track, soccer fields, tennis courts, and racquetball courts that you can use.

So a college town is best, I think.  Why doesn't everyone live in a small college town of about 10,000 people?

Of course living in a town that small means it can't sustain every kind of business you might want, so you'd probably want to be rather close to a larger metropolitan area so you can go to the medical specialist when necessary or make a semi-regular trip to Trader Joe's, or fly out of an airport.... so I guess it would be best if your small town was only about an hour from a larger city.

Ok, so why doesn't everyone live in a small college town of about 10,000 people less than an hour from a big city?

I guess one of the problems is that small towns tend to grow.  We used to live near a cute small town and really liked it.... but then so did thousands of other people.  Next thing we knew, the town had almost tripled in size because it was SO nice... and then it was no longer a small town.

So the trick, then, is to find a small town that not everyone and their brother is going to love.  Like, maybe find a town that doesn't have the best weather.  Find one that, say, is cloudy a lot, or cold.  Preferably in a Northern state, like, say, Pennsylvania, since everyone seems to be flocking South.

Thus I am left with this question:  Why doesn't everyone live in a small, Northern college town of about 10,000 people about an hour from a big city?  

I think you'd really like it.

And if you want to move to my small Northern college town of about 10,000 near a big city, my former professor's son is a realtor who can help you.

Snow days (not like anything gets cancelled, though)

The kids love it when it gets "deep" around here.  They had been waiting for the opportunity to build a snow tunnel, and they finally got their chance.

Dis-something

Today Jinna was mad that she had a particular consequence for some poor behavior.

"It's not fair!" she said.

"It is fair," I responded. "It's discipline."

Her brothers heard her mutter in the other room, "It's not discipline. It's disappointment."

Milo turns 11

With great flair, our Milo marked another circle around the sun.  Part way through the day he enthusiastically yelled, "BEST BIRTHDAY E-VER!!!"  We love that he is so appreciative and excited about gifts and activities.

Some of the highlights included:

Cousin Sam, Aunt Karen and Bud and Jane coming for the afternoon.  We went bowling!

2 cakes (a carrot cake and a peanut butter pie) with candles that kept re-lighting.  His reaction was awesome.

Receiving tickets to go the Dude Perfect tour in June!

It was a good birthday, indeed.

Freedom!

Grove City College has long embraced the value of freedom, but I had no idea that just living in proximity to the campus we would experience a whole new level of freedom as a family!

Everything is so walk-able that it means the kids can go off to their own activities on their own - which they love, and so do I!  Pretty much every day they're out running an errand, going to the library, getting a haircut, going for a run or a walk, or even getting something for me at Rite-Aid.

 They can go to the Y on their own, and back and forth from the classical school. They can run up to Pete's office anytime they need something (or anytime he needs something.... Last week he called because he forgot salad dressing for his lunch so Milo ran it up to him.)  They'll even be able to walk to their own orthodontist appointments in the future (love that!).

Tonight the boys went off to meet a friend at the movie theater.  I love that they can have these adventures on their own!

The rest of the town is so close, too, that even if I have to drive somewhere I never have to plan the half-hour in drive-time that I used to have to schedule in before and after activities in NC.  Errands are no longer an ordeal, but super simple.  Which means more freedom for me!

So far small town living is just fine.

Winner winner, chicken dinner

Since moving to our new town a month ago, Cole has won both the Geography Bee and the Science Fair!   He's taking the town by storm.

After being named the top 7th-grader in the preliminary round of the Geo Bee, he advanced to the finals a couple weeks later, where he also claimed the top spot.  A few days later he took an online test to see if he qualifies for the state level.  We'll see!

His CC class has been working towards their science fair for a couple of months now, and the culminating night was last Friday.  Each student took turns presenting their project for the audience, and then the judges were able to walk around and ask them questions.  Colsen's project investigated whether or not the wear on a string affected how long a yo-yo can spin (it does).

Our boy has been working hard!

Now we just need to get that chicken dinner....

Nonna and Poppa visit!

Mom and Dad made their 147th (or something like that) trek back to Grove City, PA this past weekend, but it was their first time in a couple of decades.

We're still in our temporary housing here, so they stayed in the house across the street from us, and it was super fun!  We all enjoyed going back and forth between the houses, and the kids loved the daily ritual of walking to Dunkin Donuts with Poppa for a breakfast treat.

They arrived Thursday evening just in time for a movie that was being shown by Rayna's teacher at the Guthrie.  It was a documentary about 3 individuals with intellectual disabilities, and it was so cool to see how the town turned out in support.  Rayna got to help sell t-shirts in the lobby and she was all pumped up all evening, seeing all her favorite school peeps.

Then on Friday evening Colsen had his science fair. (See future post with more detail)

Other highlights from the weekend included a campus tour and bringing the crazy to Pete's office, eating out at Rachel's, playing in the snow, unpacking and sorting through some things at the new house, making decisions about light fixtures, paint colors, etc., eating at Broad Street Grille for lunch, and at Cinema Grille for brunch (on 2 different days of course).

 On the day they were planning to leave we got some unexpected snow, so we got a "bonus day!"  They came with us to church and we all got to watch the Super Bowl together that night.

So fun to have them here for extended time!