The name of our firstborn was
essentially chosen for him before Pete and I were even married. Pete had two things he was adamant about
during our engagement: that we should
buy Fiestaware dishes, and name our first son after his favorite book
character.
But when I became pregnant with
our second child, the name books were pulled out repeatedly, almost nightly, as
I pored over all the different options and meanings. The meaning of a name is probably more
important to me than the sound of the name (although I had to draw the line at
names like Galochka. It means “God
redeems,” which is awesome…. But I can’t call my sweet baby girl Galochka.)
So when I came across the name
Rayna, which had the meaning, “The song of the Lord,” I was sold. Despite some pushback from a few family
members, we gave our baby girl this unusual name with confidence that God would
sing His song through her life.
I don’t think I spent a lot of
time picturing what she would be like ahead of time, but if I did I probably
envisioned a girl like a brunette version of Anne of Green Gables (the book character,
not the TV character). God would sing a
song of joy and creativity and accomplishment and richness through her. The song would be beautifully orchestral,
like what would play at the end of a feel-good movie.
When Rayna was just a few months
old we began to realize her life was taking a different trajectory from other
children’s. Her development was much
slower in all areas, and eventually specialists began to point out some unique
physical characteristics that she had. Then
medical concerns surfaced, along with educational challenges.
I wish I could say I embraced all
of this with joy and thanksgiving, but I didn’t. There was a whole lot of resistance,
questioning, confusion, and frustration on my part. Much of my effort was put into trying to “fix”
her, or getting her “caught up.” Time
after time I found myself embarrassed and saddened when mothers at the
playground pointed out that she was acting so much younger than their children
of the same age, or when Rayna couldn’t keep up with the rest of the
gymnastics, dance, or even Sunday School class.
But Rayna has never been saddened
or embarrassed by what she cannot do, and approaches life with joy and
eagerness. All of the visits with
specialists, tutors, therapists, and technicians are all just great adventures
for her; she doesn’t think anything about that is odd.
So, slowly, slowly I have heard
more and more of the strains of the song God is singing. It is not a song of accomplishment – how could
I ever have thought it would be?? But it
is one about His faithfulness. He has
healed over and over, provided over and over, and brought joy over and
over, and all of that is seen and heard so vividly in her life.
Five years ago some wonderful
friends in our church chose to name their new daughter Rayna as well. Rayna Faith, so beautiful. As that Rayna has grown, she is, of course, a
completely different person from our Rayna, and yet there has been some overlap
in their stories.
Recently, she suddenly had a
medical crisis that was all too familiar to us, as our Rayna has gone through the
exact same thing.
Rayna Faith’s mom and I talked
recently about this and how weird it is that both Rayna’s have some
challenges. Surely this is not
random. I hesitate to ever presume what
God could be doing, but it seems to me that God is singing His song through
these girls – and it’s a song we’ve needed to hear twice.
There are many songs that could
be sung “of the Lord.” We know there are
songs of joy and triumph mentioned in the Old Testament; there are skilled
songs, and songs that just burst forth. The
common theme in them all, though, seems to be exalting God, declaring His
greatness.
In the weaknesses or challenges
of our Raynas, we have had to call out to the Lord for strength, and the more
we’ve had to lean on Him, the bigger He has become to us.
Last week at church little Rayna
Faith came up to our bigger Rayna Blythe and I heard them say, “Hi Rayna!” “Hi
Rayna!” to each other. All I could think
was, “From one song to another.” It reminded me of this passage:
“Deep
calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have
swept over me. By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.” -Psalm 42:7-8
I often think, too, of Zephaniah 3:17, which is, probably
not coincidentally at all, a favorite verse of Rayna Faith’s mom as well:
“The LORD your God
is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you;
in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”
He is rejoicing over all of us with singing – and I think He uses our
Raynas, our precious Songs of the Lord, to remind us of that.
p.s. Incidentally, the only time
the full phrase “song of the Lord” is mentioned in the Bible is in 2 Chronicles
29:17, when the song of the Lord is played during a formal offering. Maybe this is what we are supposed to be
remembering to do – continuing to offer up ourselves and our daughters for
whatever the Lord wants to do in us all.
This is our neighbor and friend, Claire, who recently had a "Rayna Cooking Club" day with both Raynas! |
You wrote that so beautifully. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Much love from the Millers to the Franks!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lisa. Love back to the Millers!
DeleteYour daughter is beautiful, and I can tell she brings great joy into your home! God's songs are always unexpectedly better than our imagined ones! Thanks for sharing her with us through your blogs!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, Amy -- absolutely beautiful!! Thank you so much for sharing your heart..............Rayna truly is a lovely, amazing, joyful creation of the Lord's. He is singing through her all the time! How else would we all see that joyful enthusiasm that characterizes her sweet and loving spirit??!!
ReplyDeleteThis is so beautiful!!! And I am crying now. We miss you guys lots!!!
ReplyDelete