Last month my therapist suggested that I start praying daily that God would show me how He loves me. This might be my all-time favorite prayer to try.
I expected that He would show me through some small ways, some little "coincidences" through the weeks. And He has.... but He's also shown me in very big ways, ways that could not be written off as just coincidences.
In fact, I would say that these last few months leading up to my 50th birthday have been full of some very big realizations and mind-shifts... a time period unlike any other. I have felt God telling and showing me things I really needed to hear.
I'm not sure why this season has been so rich, but maybe there are a few contributing factors. Talking with my counselor, aptly named Faith, has been instrumental. She has been a real spiritual coach, praying with and for me regularly in very powerful ways. A few books I've read have also been key in showing me things I needed to hear (You're Only Human and Hinds Feet on High Places among them). Practicing a couple habits have also probably helped: reciting Psalm 23 before bed, praying the Lord's Prayer more regularly, even my new weight training regimen. Attending a church where the weekly messages are full of reality and hope, where the priests depend on the Spirit and look for Him to change us, has definitely helped. Finally, I think having the space and time to process, think, and pray more have given this season the fullness I was looking for. I'm thankful to be in this stage of life with fewer demands on my time and to have the luxury to talk with friends more and spend more time reading and studying.
God alone knows why I needed these messages now and His orchestration of how I was to hear them is beyond my comprehension. I am very, very thankful that they corresponded with the conclusion of my 50th year though. That just feels like such a gift. Happy Jubilee birthday to me!
As if to confirm that He is delighted with me and wanted to show up in great form on my actual birthday, this is how the first hour of 12/21/22 went for me:
1. My Advent devotional reading for the day just happened to include 1 John 4:7-8 -- my life theme verses
2. I was greeted by several friends and family via texts before I even got out of bed
3. The author I have been so changed by this month just happened to be interviewed this week on one of my favorite podcasts and I was able to listen to it as I worked out
4. I got my highest score ever on the SpellTower app
5. Pete decorated the house with balloons and a big banner and the kids all joyfully celebrated me when I came downstairs.
The day continued on in this fashion.... I was able to meet both Strider and Miles at the coffee shop while I was there for a few hours. Then Pete made a fantastic lasgana dinner and invited over the Browns and Jefferises for a little dinner party. I haven't laughed that much in a long time!
Turning 50 was pretty great.
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