Last week I read an article in Newsweek about stress, and the author referenced a classic scientific study that has been done with rats. Knowing that exercise is good for rats, as it is for humans, they yoked 2 rats together on a running wheel. One rat could exercise whenever he wanted, and his brain “bloomed with new cells.” The second rat, though, was at the mercy of the first one and was forced to run whenever the first one did. His brain actually lost brain cells, and the conclusion is that even though exercise is good for both rats, the second one couldn’t perceive it as the healthy workout that it was, simply because he had no control over it.
This really distressed me, because my brain was screaming “I am that 2nd rat!” (I won’t go so far as to say that God is the rat in control, but seeing myself as a rat is an image my brain can definitely wrap around.) Much as I grasp for control in all things, I will never fully have it. And knowing that there are times I will be forced to “run” when I don’t want to, and won't be allowed to when I do want to, does really stress me out at times.
So what is the solution? I really cannot afford to lose any more brain cells! If getting off the running wheel is not an option, and being in control is not possible, must I always be stressed?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot the last few days. One conclusion that is starting to form in my brain is that when God causes me to run when I don’t want to, it’s not about making me more comfortable. This, however, IS usually my goal – to stay comfortable. And to maintain my self-delusional sense of control. But what if I could surrender these goals completely and just enjoy the ride? (Because we know the good news is that we don’t actually have to do the running by ourselves. He even gives us eagle’s wings when we need them! And this is one way the “rat” analogy breaks down… otherwise we have some very funny looking winged rats.)
I think that I want to control my own workout time – as if I know how much and what kind of exercise I need. But for God, it’s not about checking off the box that the exercise got done. It’s about teaching me flexibility, humility, obedience, wisdom… ultimately a character that is much more familiar to Him.
This morning while Strider and Rayna were at their classes, I prepared to take Colsen and Miles for a walk. A number of things had to fall into place and get done before we were finally ready to go, as all moms understand. J Eventually we got out the door, though, and I had it in my mind that we would head into the town center. Before we got to the end of the driveway, Miles started to wail. The screams got louder and louder as we went, and finally a couple of blocks later, I realized he wasn’t going to enjoy this walk. I was forced to turn around and head back home to get him a pacifier, and realized my journey was going to have to be in a much smaller circular shape than I had wanted. In my earlier parenting days (such as up until yesterday… and probably even as late as tomorrow) I would have been very frustrated by this change in plans, but today, since I had been mulling over the Lesson of the Rats, I tried to see what I should be learning from this. It didn’t take long to realize that our walk destination was really not all that important, and if this interruption and reminder of my lack of control could teach me even a small bit of patience and surrender, then I was immeasurably better off than any walk could have made me.
The other piece of good news I have been reminded of is that God does not see me as a rat. I am His beloved child and He has wonderful things for me, though sometimes it may just look like running on a wheel from my point of view. A verse that has stuck in my head recently is what Peter said to the people who were suffering: “These [trials] have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold… may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” What a mindshift that is to me. I am praying that that becomes my goal more and more. It’s good to know the running we’re doing has a destination – it’s not just a goofy wheel!
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