Over the course of the last several days, here are a few of the tactics the kids put forth -- presumably to just try and keep my balance over my toes in an effort to improve both my posture and fitness level. (They're so thoughtful):
- Colsen and Rayna played several rounds of their strategic game of "spill the drink." The first step is for Rayna to not finish whatever drink I've poured for her, but instead to stealthily put it in some low-altitude location where I don't see it. Then Colsen comes in for the big finish a little while later, dumping it all over himself, and if it will cause stickiness, as many other objects as he can find.
- Another one of their sweet strategies is to play what I call the 2-1 split. Two of them distract me by being obedient while the third turns into a terror-tornado in another corner of the house. For example, yesterday I was starting to feel good about the fact that Strider was downstairs vacuuming and Rayna was dutifully picking up her room with me... until I realized Colsen was systematically destroying the bonus room.
- At one point I went to use the bathroom, but as I walked in I was greeted by a most unpleasant sight (excuse the graphic descriptions here)... involving a lot of liquid NOT in the toilet. Using my great powers of deduction, I called the primary suspect into the room. He denied it at first, and then said, "Oh, this is probably what happened when I tried to go to the bathroom without turning on any lights." All in the name of science experiments, right? So off I go to get the cleaning materials to thoroughly clean this room. As I finished up and was putting the supplies away, I found the other 2 lovely children quietly pulling food out of the fridge and eating it. I finally got THAT taken care of, and thought, "Now what was I going to do? Oh yeah, go to the bathroom." Good thing my bladder is barely larger than a grape these days.
- Then there are other random efforts that they make to keep me fully engaged, ensuring my attention does not wander (again, so thoughtful of them), such as when Rayna keeps washing her new stuffed sea otter in the sink (I guess because I told her otters like to swim?) and then shaking the wet thing all over the wood floors that aren't supposed to get wet. Or, Colsen helping me dump his lunch tray all over the floor (right after I had just cleaned it thoroughly), spreading gooey yogurt and mushy kiwi everywhere. Or Colsen wanting to "help" me clean the bathroom sink -- by either continually turning and and off the light switch until I feel like I'm at a horrible disco, or squeezing soap all over the place. Or Strider kindly organizing "new sports" for all of them to play whenever I tried to get on the phone with a serious call -- sports that inevitably involve loud shrieking protests from the other players. Or Colsen dragging a stool all over various rooms so he can now get to things I put out of his reach on purpose. And then when I take the stool, he doesn't even cry, sweet child. He just runs and gets a different one, and starts over in another room. Believe me, I could go and on and on (and you thought I already had!).
The arena in which we play this fun game was also breaking down this week. Our house seemed to know Pete was out of town, so several things broke. At one point I even had to go over and get our neighbor Mark to fix our garage door so it didn't have to stay open in its broken state all through Halloween night. And my body, too, was not in top-form... I had some sort of pregnancy-related lower back pain that caused me to waddle like a duck for the whole weekend. This gave those high-energy little people a definite advantage.
In all fairness, there were certainly some sweet moments over the last several days as well.... such as when Strider took over the manly chores of the house in Pete's absence, and when I heard Colsen tell Rayna "I love you Rayna" as they rode together in the bike trailer one day, and when Rayna told me randomly one day, "You're the sweetest girl I've ever met!" I think the kids plan these sweet moments to come at just the right times, so that I will continue to suit up for the game each day. They really don't want it to be a blow-out game, since that would be boring.
All the same, though, I was thinking about how in the not-too-distant future, if Pete goes on another trip, it will become 4-on-1. Scary thought. He's been talking about wanting to go to Colorado with his friends for a week next summer... but I think he will be wise enough to not bring that trip up in discussion with me for at least a few weeks. As we were driving home from picking him up at the airport last night, the van was quite loud, and at one point he yelled, "You 3 are all talking to me at once!!" Welcome home, Peter. It's good to have my teammate back. 2-on-3 isn't quite so bad... even if we never quite win.
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