Productivity Charts, Revised

Although the balmy weather would have allowed for it, lunchtime here at this house was no picnic today.

Between 3 outfit changes, 2 uses of the dustbuster, 1 use of the vacuum -- after all the dustbuster contents spilled all over the floor -- several moving of people up and down the stairs to keep them either near or away from specific objects, cleaning up unknown spills, fixing dishwasher parts, and not getting to eat my own lunch until 2pm, I realized I was once again swirling in the vortex of chaos. And, when the policeman came in my house (another story -- nothing exciting), and saw the evidence of our daily destruction everywhere, he nicely and soberly remarked, "Ah, I remember this stage."

A stage. Just a stage. My thoughts turned to some graphs I had made a couple years ago, showing how certain stages of my life have had more or less productivity/destructivity. And as I calculated the current 2-footed variables, I realized that this particular stage could probably be characterized as a definite valley in the Productivity Function of our lives.

As part of some self-therapy, and a need to use some other part of my brain besides the "how to wipe up a spill" part, I created a new chart --Version 2.0-- of how the individuals either contribute to, or detract from, the productivity in our house. Here's how it broke down:

Pete and I: Still the most productive members of the household, but declining in effectiveness. It appears that with the birth of each child and the subsequent sleeplessness, we never fully recover or resume our pre-birth levels. As with Version 1.0, Pete's contribution is only slightly less than mine, due to his presence on the premises being less.

Strider: Becoming more and more helpful, as he takes over many of the chores (although the dustbuster disaster did occur under his watchful eye today). Was helpful today when he announced that he just stepped in something wet in the living room.... and then followed up with "It doesn't smell like urine, though." Does often slow down our productivity, though, through his constant use of negotiation tactics for every decision we make. (Probably due to poor parenting on our part. See above paragraph.)

Rayna: Also becoming quite helpful as she manages many chores, and enjoys doing so. But, mixed in is still some random behavior, such as peeling important labels off of things we needed. Today during the lunch craziness she emptied the clean dishwasher for me (+) but also went outside and brought in some dead leaves of a Sage plant "for dinner" (-).

Colsen: Mostly just destructive. His imaginative play requires many props, and usually demands that all the cushions be taken off both couches for his caves and forts. He's also in a delightful "cutting" phase, which means there are endless tiny pieces of paper all over this house. There are glimmers of his productivity increasing, though. For instance, he does sound various alerts like, "Miles is almost to the top of the stairs!!" and other helpful things.

Milo: Just now entering into his destructive phase. Spends the entire day emptying any shelf, cabinet, or bookcase he can reach. Also throws all his food off his tray at mealtimes, requires clothing/diaper changes regularly, and moves items from one place to another (where they never belong). Today he took the wheels off the dishwasher tray while Rayna was unloading the dishes.

And here is the resulting chart:


There is also a negative synergistic effect I'm noticing now with the kids at the stages they're in. Due to our need for "zone defense" we have to set up various gates, locks, etc., around the house to keep Miles away from things. However, one or two of the other kids cannot maneuver around these stops, which means they need help. So about 58 times a day I hear things like, "Mom, I have to go to the bathroom, but I can't get in! I have to go NOW!" This of course means my productivity plummets as I drop everything to race over. I also spend a lot of time realigning gates, locks, etc., as other kids undo them and Miles races to danger.

So, all things considered, this is my approximation for our current productivity pattern as a whole family:

I am nervous to see how deep this valley goes... We shall see, I guess!

The good news is: while certain members of this group are extremely destructive, they are also extremely adorable!