"Yes.... and, thank you, and.... yes" (Moldova Wrap-Up, a little late)

“For all that has been, thank you;  for all that will be, yes.”  -- Dag Hammarskjold

In the last weeks before we left Moldova, I sat down to write a summary/reaction to our time there, and wrote the above title and quote.... and that was it.

The famous arch in downtown Chisinau

And now, over two months later, I'm still unsure what to write.  I know I haven't fully processed everything, and my perspective will continue to change in the coming months and years, but I still feel the need to write something... for my own sense of closure at least.

Before we left the U.S. back in December, our friend Howard gave us some advice which stayed in the forefront of my mind throughout our 7-month adventure:  to approach everything with the words, "Yes... and..."  My normally resisting nature was challenged to behave in a new way.  

 Also right around that time, I  read about Ann Voskamp's "Joy Dare" -- to find things to be thankful for each day. These two new habits -- receiving all circumstances and events with "yes," and choosing gratitude every day -- kept me from going completely crazy, I think!  There were several times over those months when I would lie in bed at night and think, "I have to stop thinking about this situation, or I could lead myself right into a panic attack."  So I decided I would wait and think about it all after we were safely home.

Cole in front of Stefan Cel Mare,
holding Flat Stanley,
who also made the trip to Moldova.

And now we are home, so I am slowly feeling more free to think about it.  Many people have asked us if we are glad we went on the trip.  My response has generally been that if I had known everything ahead of time, I would never have agreed to go.  However, then we would have missed out on some powerful things... so, as usual, it is quite good that I did NOT know everything ahead of time.

The other way I have begun to sum it up is this:

1.  I thought it was challenging.
2. I thought it was good.
3.  I did not think it was fun.

As a side note, if I were to write Pete's list it would be:

1.  He thought it was challenging.
2.  He thought it was good.
3.  He thought it was fun.

Anyway, it was good for me to have not-so-fun times, and to live slightly below my normal comfort level.  (Sometimes it felt like I was living WAY below my normal comfort level, but I'm sure I have no idea how bad it could really get, and in terms of how many people live, I was WAY better off.)  As we were trying to make the decision about whether or not to even go to Moldova, we knew that some suffering would be involved.  Living in a developing, third-world country with four children (and 2 dogs, though that was "unknown" at that point), would definitely not be easy.  We knew the Bible was quite positive on the concept of suffering, and it was not something we should run away from.  The question I asked over and over, though, was Should we willingly run towards it?

Soviet-style apartment building in our neighborhood

In our case, we have definitely seen some good things come out of answering "Yes" to that question.  Suffering definitely produced perseverance, and perseverance brought character, and character, hope, as Romans 5 promises -- we saw this in each other.  Sometimes the "hope" we clung to was just wrapped up in the fact that we were going to get to go home and be surrounded by all our comforts again.  But sometimes we were reminded of our True Hope, that our eternal home is what we are really longing for.  And, I learned to be thankful for many things that I had up until then taken for granted!  Plus, as a special bonus, we were able to build relationships Tania, and Liuba, and several other wonderful Moldovans, as well as all of the missionaries, teachers and diplomats who gave us new perspectives on the world and life.

So, would we do it again?  Well, the answer for Pete is simple -- he's actually planning another trip to go back there next month!   And when the rest of us heard about that, it's true that we all said we wanted to go, too.  (The Fulbright cash tree is not sprouting in our yard a second time this year, though, so only one plane ticket will be purchased.)

At Capriana monastery --
one of the most beautiful places we visited

Yes, we are thankful for this special journey we had as part of our larger Journey.... and as more months go by, hopefully I'll be able to process and think about what we've learned even more.... as the panicky feeling subsides.