Yes.... and....

A week ago, as parting words before our (scheduled) big trip, our friend Howard told us about something he'd heard about from the world of acting improv.  Apparently, when someone is on stage and then another actor joins him with a new, crazy story-line or event (such as "Hey, look, a busload of clowns just got in a car accident!"), the actor who was already on stage has 2 choices:  he can block it out/deny it, or he can accept it.  The wiser choice, of course, is to try and work with it, so, as Howard put it, a good automatic response is to say, "Yes... and..."  The actor is then free to add to the story with his own skills and thoughts, adapting as possible.

As Howard spoke these words, I could feel the truth of that ringing through me -- what a way to LIVE!  He summed up by saying, "I think it really relaxes you to say, 'Yes...and...' to whatever comes along in your life."  On a journey, there are certain to be some unexpected bumps and jolts, and even crashing busloads of clowns in our way.  Learning not to resist, but accept and adapt would be very freeing indeed.

So then 3 days after this conversation, when things went suddenly wrong with one of the kids, even as my head was screaming, "No!  No!  No!" I also heard the words, "Say 'Yes, and...  Yes, and...'"  I've been very thankful for those new words in my vocabulary for situations like that.  This week continues to be a battle, between my natural way to approach crises and this new way.  Our child is still sick... she's never been this sick before, and hourly Pete and I find ourselves feeling helpless and despairing.  But then we go back to "Yes... and..." and we take a deep breath and try to wait and see what God is doing here.

A few weeks ago in a Bible study on the book of Mark, some friends and I discussed how Tim Keller uses the phrase the "smugness of worry."  At first it seemed like a very strange concept -- why would worrying mean we're being smug??  But the more we thought about it, we realized the truth of it:  When I worry that things will not go the way I hope or think they should, I am essentially saying I know best.  If God (or the universe) will not line up with my thoughts and plans, then He is wrong.  Definitely very, inordinately, smug!  So, I've also been trying to remind myself of this thought this week, as I lie awake in the middle of the night and thoughts about the future, both short- and long-term, start swirling in my head and I feel my body clench up.  I have no control over it, and I am being foolishly smug if I think I do -- or should.

This morning we listened to a live-stream of John Piper speaking to a national conference of college students that many of our friends are at this week.  As he talked, it felt like the same Truths echoing through my head again, resounding in reassuring ways.  He pointed out that in 2 Corinthians 8, the Macedonians believed in Jesus, but were undergoing "a severe test of affliction" and "extreme poverty."  And yet their JOY overflowed.  Their joy was not connected to the removal of affliction or poverty. 

Piper also pointed out the dramatic pivot in verse 35 of Hebrews 11 (the great Faith chapter):  up until that point the people mentioned experience some dramatic miracles and victories "by faith," but then the chapter switches to the people who still were commended for their faith, but saw affliction, suffering, and loss.  They didn't receive what they probably wanted on earth, but still they had faith, and, presumably, joy as they looked forward to what was to come.  Once again, it was all Grace.

I've been so thankful for all these words from wise people lately.... reminding me to say "Yes... and..." to not be smug by worrying, and to realize that Joy does not come from our circumstances.  This has been a very hard week in many ways, but I can see how God has walked before us, and paved the road for us in words of Truth both ahead of time, and during the week. 

There are still many unknowns-- When will she get better?  What is making her sick? What does this mean for her health long-term?  When will we leave on our trip?  But in the meantime, we will keep practicing saying "Yes.... and..." as things come along.