Multitasking Muddle

I read an article recently about multitasking. The author’s main point was that multitasking is not actually more efficient, much as we’d like to believe so, because in reality our brains can really only focus on one thing at a time. So when we think we are multitasking, we are actually switch-tasking, albeit very rapidly. But every time we switch tasks, different neurons in our brains have to fire up or fire down, so we actually lose small bits of time with every switch.

In addition to this alarming piece of information, the author also presented this nice tidbit: the more we multitask, the more our brains actually change shape physically… and it was insinuated that this change was not one for the better. Therefore, he very evenly and rationally proposed, we would be much benefited if we simply just did one thing at a time, focusing solely on it until its completion.

As I read this, alarm bells started going off in my head as I recognized the effects of this phenomenon in my own life. My thoughts/words were something like:

“DING! DING! That’s just what – Rayna, stop pushing him – my problem – Colsen you can’t put that on your face! – is when I – DING! DING! What? I mean when I multi – Shoot, Strider can you pull that off the stove before it boils over? – DING! Is that the microwave? Or the washing machine? What was I doing here in this room?”

Eventually, though, I had enough pieces of thoughts to finally string them together into one coherent conclusion: THANKS A LOT BUDDY. I believe your hypothesis – that my neurons are exhausted with all their constant firing up and firing down as I switch from one thing to the next (times a million). And while that does give me some explanation for why they are all sweaty and complaining all the time (and are they setting up sleeping bags under my eyes to rest? That would explain THAT issue as well), it also plunges me into despair, because I cannot hope to attain the solution: focusing on one thing at a time.

The chipper author matter-of-factly just set about his day, from thence forth, striving to do one thing at a time. He ate his breakfast, drank his coffee, turned on his computer, did some writing, read the newspaper, etc… all in a nice peaceful succession.

If I tried doing just one thing at once, one or more members of this family would be in great peril, something we were planning to eat would burn, we would completely run out of clothes to wear, AND my children would be illiterate forever, among about 782 other negative outcomes. Moms have no choice; we must switch-task at the approximate rate of 37 things/second, or bad things happen.

I can’t even load the dishwasher after a meal from start to finish anymore. In the 6 minutes it takes to put the dishes in, I have to stop about 3 times to move Miles away from the dishwasher as he tries to put the dirty knives in his mouth, twice to call Strider to come play with Miles in another room, once to go help Colsen in the bathroom, once to answer the phone, and 16 times to tell kids to stop doing something. Not only are my neurons getting a workout, but my hands are dried to the texture of leather by the time I finish re-washing them 22 times in that span of 6 minutes.

Even my simple skincare routine is not possible in my current state of life. According to this “routine” I am supposed to put one potion on my face in the morning, let it dry, then put another lotion on. In the span of 2 minutes that it takes for the first to dry, it is very likely that I will have had to: start a load of laundry, wash the hardened toothpaste off the kids’ sink, make 2 beds, start breakfast, get 2 people dressed, and checked my email. Needless to say, that 2nd step gets forgotten about 80% of the time. So now I’m walking around without sunscreen!

My neurons are exhausted, my hands are leathery, my face will soon be leathery, and my brain is now incapable of composing and expressing a complete thought all in a row. And they say motherhood isn’t glamorous?

I guess it’s good to know what the diagnosis is anyway, even if I can’t do anything about my multitasking inefficiency. And the other good news is that even though I don’t have time to give my body a workout these days, at least my neurons are getting a massive one. If it doesn’t kill them, that is. I need to go get some Neuron Gatorade.