The Fastest Back-Filler in the Southeast

Growing up in a household with 3 sisters, Pete learned well the skills for navigating a conversation with a female. And being married to me for almost 12 years, having to deal with my unique brand of neuroticism, he has sharpened those skills even further.

Through the zillions of hours of conversations we’ve had, he’s had many opportunities to dig some major holes for himself. (“Wow, Amy, you suddenly look skinny!” “What?!? How fat was I before??”, etc) And he’s also gotten quite good at spotting those holes in the minefield, and quickly filling them back in before I blow up. (“Believe me, you’ve always been thin, but now you’re just downright skinny – really almost too skinny. Well, not too skinny, I mean you look just perfect.”)

I realized just how good these backfilling skills have gotten just yesterday when we had the following conversation. Notice how good he is at anticipating what I'm thinking, so I don't even have to say much:


Pete: “You look pretty. Regardless of everything else, at least you look good.”

I'm thinking: What?? At least?? What everything else??

Pete, seeing the look on my face: “I mean, no matter the circumstances, or whatever stresses you have, or if you have too much to do, at least you look beautiful doing it all.

I'm thinking: Hmmmm.

Pete: “It's good -- you’ll always have your good looks. Well, not always, but you know.”

Me: "What???"

And then the ultimate back-filling technique:

Pete: “Oh, Amy, I was just seeing if you were listening.”

Then he decided to switch topics (another effective back-filling strategy), and proceeded to tell me that he had, in my opinion, overspent on a purchase that I had asked him to make. I started to get all upset, and he said,

“Oh, is this going to ruin your mood? Well then let’s just erase this whole conversation. Pretend you never heard me, ok? Good, ok, it’s erased.”

Hole filled back in.

Another example from today:

Pete: "Amy, you're an awesome mom. Much better than I expected you would be."

I'm thinking: Judging based on what exactly?

Pete, without missing a beat: "Don't worry -- that's a positive statement. I had visions of you being an awesome mom, and you have even surpassed that."


I’m just saying – the guy has gotten quite good at filling in any holes he digs. He is a busy man. And I love him a ton.