The music of Rayna's life (so far)

I paused tonight to think about our decade with Rayna.   We gave her the name meaning “Song of the Lord” before we even knew her, and have realized more and more each year how appropriate that name has been.  God has definitely been singing His song through her.  In these first 10 years with her, here are some of the melodies I have heard in this song:

There is always reason for Joy.  Her bright and sparkly eyes, quickness to clap and shout, and her enthusiastic appreciation of even the smallest things never let us forget about joy!  From the time she was just a few days old, she started smiling and making a happy noise at people, and she has never stopped.  Our house is abundantly more joyful than it would be without her.

God’s love overflows.  I love Rayna’s heart.  She doesn’t distinguish between stranger and friend, big or small, rich or poor, even mean or nice.  She just accepts and loves everyone.  Her ability to love, forgive and include others, has challenged and convicted us over and over.    I’ve also seen the face of God’s love when I see the people around Rayna love her so well.  Everyone embraces her uniqueness and celebrates her sweetness, and that love sings loudly to this mother’s heart.

Achievement does not equal identity.  This is the part of the song I need to hear over and over, and so it is sung often!  I have struggled so many times as the parent of the one child in the class who can’t do the task (climb the rope in gymnastics, act out the story in Sunday school, answer the questions about the reading.)  But then I have to step back and question why this is such a difficult role for me to play.  Why does her lack of accomplishment bother me so much on a gut level?  I know I still fall into the lie that my identity is wrapped around what I’ve achieved… and my temptation is to project this onto my children as well.  It is God’s grace that keeps singing the Truth about this to me, over and over, through Rayna.

It’s a good time to grow in patience.  God certainly knew what an impatient person I’ve always been, and His sweet song has been working out those rough edges within me.  When I have to teach the same concepts over and over and over, and repeat myself over and over and over, and think of new ways to break a difficult concept into smaller pieces… I can know I’m growing in patience.

His timing and schedules are better than mine.  My obsession with the babyhood stages and milestones has been forced to fade, and each year when school assessments are re-done, and height charts are re-evaluated, I again have to face my lack of control – and the goodness of that.  We realized soon after Rayna was born that the Lord was singing this theme to us (through a sign with an “Easter” lily), and it’s been a comfort to be reminded of it through the years.  He knows what He is doing, and the plans and growth He has for her are good and right.

The music is more complex than just these few themes, and I hear new variations and tones all the time.  Beautiful notes and complicated harmonies are interwoven throughout.

When I start to fret and worry, or stomp in frustration, as this parenting journey continues to jostle and tug at me, I am so thankful that I don’t have to look farther than my daughter to see God’s beautiful ballad to me.  What a blessing this Song of the Lord has been!

I wonder how the song will change or expand in the upcoming decade -- or how my hearing will improve…