Occam's Razor doesn't cut it when you're living with kids

In general, ever since I first heard of Occam's Razor, which popularly suggests that we should tend towards the explanations that are simpler when trying to understand the cause of some phenomenon, I have seen how it can apply in many aspects of life.  However, considering that the heuristic's orginator, William of Ockham was a Franciscan friar, I think we can assume he did a lot of his concluding without the company of little children.  Speaking now as one who has to do much of my concluding with kids underfoot, I feel that Occam's Razor has no real place as a guiding principle here in my home.

For example, if I go to the rack where I keep my car keys and find that they are missing, Occam's Razor might tell me that I should go back and look in the place where I last had them -- that would involve the simple explanation for finding them again.  But, the fact is I am actually much more likely to find them in the bottom dresser drawer in my 4-year old's room, where they ended up being tossed after he was playing "janitor" or "bus driver" or some other such game.  Or perhaps I should look in the crayon box in the office where my 2-year old might have put them to construct a fun-sounding musical instrument.  Or maybe they are now in my 9-year old's play purse, lodged now under her bed, after she used them to try and turn on her Leapster.

If Ockam wanted to construct a "razor" to cut away all the unnecessary assumptions or excessively complicated false theories, I think we who live with young children need to adopt our own method of arriving at the truth.  I call this new theorem Mama's Oscillator.  As the fast-turning blade of a fan causes all objects in its path to scatter in multiple directions, so does living with kids cut a wide swath of possibilities into the events of our days.

Consider the following examples:

1. If I look down and find a purple spot on the sleeve of my shirt, what has happened?

Occam's Razor's answer:  Perhaps I spilled grape jam on it while I was eating a sandwich.

Mama's Oscillator's answer:  Perhaps my 9-year old rubbed her bloody finger on my sleeve, which already had a blueberry stain on it from when the 2-year old was snacking as he sat on my lap.  (Red + blue = purple!)

2.  If I find marker on the wall and the marker box open on the floor, what has just happened?

Occam's Razor's answer:  The 2-year old who is marker-crazy somehow got his hands on the marker box and proceed to write on the wall.

Mama's Oscillator's answer:  The 11-year old was interested in tracing the shadows of his siblings on the wall.  He swears it's washable.... followed by the words, "at least I think it is..."

3.  If I can't find the cutting board I keep in a specific cabinet, where is it?

Occam's Razor's answer:  Check the dishwasher.  And if it's not there, check the other cabinets because someone probably put it in the wrong place.

Mama's Oscillator's answer:  Check the closet in the boys' bedroom upstairs to see if got stashed there after they were using it to "sled" down the stairs.  Or check under the bed in the other bedroom in case they slid it under there after they used it as a ramp to race their matchbox cars.


The thing about Mama's Oscillator is that we are truly given permission, nay even encouraged, to truly think outside the box.  Simplicity flies out the window -- along with anything else not nailed down.

And even without the use of Occam's sharp razor to help us through these mysteries of life, we can be assured that life is never dull!