Thursday, December 27, 2012

The Strangest Christmas Tradition We Have

Some families build all kinds of excitement around a visit from Santa.  Some have reindeer track sightings.  Some are really spiritual and re-enact the first Holy Night with angels visiting and shepherds quaking.

Our family gets visited by Grandma Deuce.

Grandma Deuce has a nice, sweet, well, grandmotherly sound to her name.... but nothing could be further from her actual appearance.  She -- he-- is actually extremely creepy and weird, terrifying all the children at one stage or another.  No one quite knows why this tradition keeps being perpetuated... or why it gets worse and worse every year.

Many years ago, Uncle Dan (Deuce) sat down to read the traditional story our family liked when we were kids -- "Karin's Christmas Walk."  Then he added some old-lady glasses and adopted a librarian voice.  The next year, he introduced a costume and a whole character was born.  And now that character is just downright WEIRD.  Even his--her-- own kids shriek in terror!

Nevertheless, the legend continues, so on Christmas night everyone was all ready for Grandma Deuce to arrive:

Who is coming in the front door??
These little ones have NO idea what to expect
Grandma Deuce is here!
And she looks strange...
.... kinda weird with her/his pearl necklace...

BUT THEN --- he/she took off her sweater, wearing only a strapless dress underneath!  All the adults simultaneously groan-gagged.

Somehow the kids weren't quite so put off by it  (the ones who weren't screaming in their mothers' laps anyhow):

 And Grandma Deuce proceeded with the story -- even with the wrong book.  Somehow he/she made it work and the kids were none the wiser.

Yep, downright weird.

It's at a time like this that I really wish my brother Dan was on Facebook so I could TAG him in these pictures!

(And we also wish Sammy and Sophia could have joined in the fun so all the cousins could be together....alas, California is a long ways away, and even the promise of Grandma Deuce is not enough to shorten that distance.  Maybe next year!)

Days later we are still trying to work through the kids' confusion....  Just this morning, Miles and I had this conversation:
Miles:  You are like Mor-Mor.
Me:  Yes, I am -- because she's my grandmother.
Miles:  Yeah, and Grandma Deuce is my grandfather!

Just terrific.

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